Gesphania

If you have social media especially Facebook you have noticed a spark of a new (but not so new) hustle on your timeline. You see a friend that you know post something along the lines of "Want to make $160 out of $20"... or..."I made $800 in one day and all I had to do was give $100". Sounds great right? Everyone is looking to make a little extra around the holidays. So when I first seen these posts it got my attention. I almost even joined one of them. But after learning how it worked, I stepped back in reflection and decided it wasn't for me.

Here's how it works:

Let's break down the $20 investment pot...

You invest $20 to get in via Cashapp and send the money to a specific person running it. Then you are put into a line up on a virtual "money board" and with every round you get pushed closer and closer to the middle without having to invest a penny more. Once you're in the middle titled, the purple circle, all 8 of the new people that are added to the group with their invested $20's go straight to your Cashapp account allowing for your initial investment to flip into $160.00

Still sounds great I know! 

But what's wrong with this model is that it is not designed for everyone to win. In order for you to "cash out" new people have to come in with their money to move you up. In order for the new people to receive their payout they have to get new people to come in. Eventually someone... actually a lot of people are going to completely lose their money.

I could have easily joined this early and received my payout as a lot of my friends did. But something felt wrong about it. Yes I would have gotten my cut but what about the others still trying to climb their way to the top? I've even seen posts of people stating that they are "stuck" and haven't moved up. To those that are stuck, do you understand that in order to get "unstuck" someone has to take your place and then be stuck until someone takes their place? This is an illusion of helping one another when in actuality every person is out for themselves. It's not progressive and it doesn't help us as a collective.

For those who received their payout yes you made it. Now what. What is an extra $160 or $800 if it was at the expense of others who may not win as well? That amount yes it helps your bills but its very temporary. This hustle isn't truly helping us. It isn't solving our financial issues. If we all took our time to truly come together financially, especially in the black community which is suffering the most as a collective, we could have made a long lasting residual economic impression in where everyone that put in would actually win and keep winning. With you getting your payout you may be thinking to yourself, "Oh well! I got my coin!, whoever gave and didn't get theirs, that sucks for them". If that is your mentality, that is very unfortunate and a whole other discussion in itself.

With coming to this realization, I decided not to participate. This is not a post to bash anyone. It is a post of enlightenment and encouragement to strive for true progression as you move forward even if you already cashed out. I am not just my family's keeper, I am my community's keeper as well and climbing to the top without grabbing the hands of my fellow brothers and sisters to climb up with me, is not a success... it's a continued fail.


Food for thought...

Periods suck.

Okay let me clarify, the pain that comes with a period sucks. Pain varies between each woman when "Aunt flow" arrives. Some women have mild cramps and can still be superwoman throughout the day, while others scream in a ball under the covers for hours. I my Rising Roses, am on the latter end of the spectrum.

My periods are THE WORST period! (pun intended). I take pills like they are skittles. Upping the dosage every month it seems, to the point of nausea due to over medicating. And the pills as much as I took them barely worked. I was not physically able to do anything. I was reaching a breaking point and would lay in bed so defeated thinking death was the next step. It was not until a friend mentioned on Facebook that she found the cure to her monthly pain, that I finally saw a glimmer of hope.

Nakia I dedicate this blog post to you. Hey girl!

She introduced the FITTOP. It's an electronic wireless, vibrating and heating belt. It comes in a few cute colors (I chose pink), and has various vibrating settings with the option to simultaneously heat. The review she gave was so positive I immediately went on Amazon and rushed ordered one for myself. My period was due in a few days and I had to have it. It arrived the day before my period and I was elated. I did not want to put all my hopes in this device just in case it didn't work for me, but just the fact that I had a potential solution in my hands made the upcoming dark day a little brighter.



The FITTOP comes with a cute little USB charger and works with any USB plug or can charge in your computer USB port. I immediately put it on charge to make sure it had enough juice to last the hours of pain I usually endure.

The day came. Aunt flow was in full force. I quickly grabbed my new FITTOP and it immediately began working it's magic. I had the vibration on the second setting which is an intense deep vibrational pattern and turned the heat on. My cramps were subdued after a few minutes and I found RELIEF! For the first time in 15 years my pain was actually bearable. I have been using the FITTOP now for about 9 months and it gets an A+ in my book. The device can also be used solely as a heating pad if you don't need the vibration at times. The vibration cycle is in 15 minute intervals, and it lasts about 8 hours of constant use before it needs to be charged again. I plan to order a second one so when the one I have loses charge, I can just put on the other.

If it wasn't for a simple review from a friend I would have never found this solution to such a tremendous issue in my life. This is why I have decided to make my review public. Hopefully I will be able to help another sister who may be going through the similar period pains that I underwent.

I am in no way being paid or endorsed by the makers of FITTOP and this is my honest review.

If you'd like to check it out the link to purchase is below. There's currently a coupon code on the site. Enter 44TVLGRG upon checkout for 10% OFF!

https://www.amazon.com/FITTOP-Electric-Vibrating-Slimming-Abdominal/dp/B01MG2L1G3?th=1

Each one teach one.

What are your usual remedies for menstrual pain? Has is worked? Share your experience below! :-)


Until next time Rising Roses,
Love & Light

Sweater Dress from www.shopgesphania.com

For years I dreamed of the day I would leave that 9-5. That corporate hustle working for some anonymous millionaire. I would go into somewhat of a progressive trance, envisioning my last day. How I would walk out humbly but internally would be doing back flips. Well my Rising Roses, that day has finally come. This lady right here is an official full time entrepreneur.

It has been a long time coming.

Days, months and years of waiting for the right moment to take that leap. The perfect strategy to execute. I was patient. I waited, waited some more, and became comfortable in just waiting. Until it hit me that the right moment would never come and there's no true perfect strategy. You just have to make a decision and go with it.

I started packing my desk weeks ahead.

My spirit was pulling at me and screaming "time is up Gess! The time is now!" By the time the decision was made, I didn't even need one box for my things. I just had my jacket, my purse and the huge grin I was attempting to hide as I walked out of that building. The building that I had no future in. The building many of my now former co-workers claimed as their own, using phrases like "We have made 2 billion this year". While in my head I always would rebuttal, "No THEY have made 2 billion this year".

I'm not made for the 9-5

Not that there's anything wrong with those who do love to work for a company. Companies would fail without employees. Nothing would get done. People would hate speaking to an automated system and the world would probably blow up in anger and chaos because of it. So I have much respect for the 9-5ers.

For those like me who want to march to the beat of their own drum, I encourage you to go for it. Whatever you're passionate about and want to share with the world, go make it happen. There isn't a perfect moment to seize the day. You only have one day that's yours at a time. Tomorrow may be too little too late.

What am I doing now you may ask?

• I am continuing to build my fabulous fashion website www.shopgesphania.com 
• I am officially a certified wedding consultant (your girl was low key in school) and plan to use this passionate skill to further build our Bridal Boutique Storefront and wedding decor service www.susesweddings.com
• I also will continue to let my artistic side flourish as the 2nd photographer for our Production business, QREV Production

Dear Rising Roses, have you ever played "Build-A-Man"?

In the dating game as a woman, I have observed one common mistake among many of my fellow sisters. We meet a man that we may be interested in, make the decision to date after getting to know him for a short period, immediately recognize what we like about him, and make it our mission to change what we don't like about him. This "I'm a fix him" mentality has to come to an end.

In the "fix it" relationship we start to invest. Give all of ourselves and sacrifice with the hopes that this man will become the prince charming we have been looking for with a little... or a lot of our help. We groom, invest, pay off his debts, and show him how great of a wife we are though ring-less (side eye). And sometimes all that hard work we put in starts to pay off. You see he's changing, improving, excelling... everything is seemingly great... Until it's not. Until he tells you you're not the one. Then a few months to a year later he's married off to another woman, being the great man that YOU built him to be... but for someone else. I know some of you can tell me some stories of this exact situation you or one of your girlfriends went through.

This coming new year I challenge you all to stop playing "Build-A-Man". Instead of focusing on how you can improve a potential mate, set your sights on what you can do to improve yourself. Think about it... You spend all this time completing him to your standard and when he has reached that standard and looks to you, are you even meeting the same criteria? Then you become surprised when he looks to his left and sees a woman who is complete all on her own. Your focus should be working towards being the best version of you that you can be. Your potential mate doesn't need you to complete him or vice versa. We should be complete without the need of a man's companionship and our mate should be a compliment to our completion.

I'm NOT saying you should be selfish in your relationship. Just do not consistently do for someone that they can clearly do for themselves. It will cripple you both in the long run. Instead, be each other's motivation and encouragement. Be that push for each other to get things done. Set goals and check in with each other towards the completion of those goals. Challenge each other towards progression individually and as a couple. Doing it this way you will be more so grateful for the growth instead of bitter in the case things do not work out.

And if you're in a situation where you are already in the middle of the Build-A-Man game, it's never too late to hit the "game over" button and start the Build-Each-Other version.


Love & Light Rising Roses

Jacket: www.shopgesphania.com Photo Cred: QREV Production

What is it about being sexy? That moment when everything about you is just on point and has you feeling some type of way. When a woman has that "I'm sexy" moment, her walk is different. She marches to the beat of a different drum and can't anyone tell her otherwise. Why is it important for a woman to feel sexy? In a system where society is over sexual, it is a challenge for a woman to express and explore her sexy without being labeled as promiscuous. But what is sexy really? What if I told you it's more than what meets the eye initially?

Being able to feel sexy doesn't necessarily mean flaunting your intimate areas with a front row seat audience. Sexy is also a moment of self acknowledgement. Being aware and appreciative of your natural beauty. Being conscious of the power and influence we have as women because of our sex appeal, and using that power to positively influence others. For example, naturally society tends to give more attention to attractive people than those they find less attractive. As a woman, you automatically have the attention of the opposite sex. Because you are aware that your appeal commands this attention, there is a possibility of having an impact on those that find you aesthetically pleasing. Feeling sexy exudes confidence, self esteem and a unique energy that can permeate one's surroundings.

A great way to hone into your sexy is taking time to pamper yourself. And I'm not just talking about bubble baths and spa days (though those are great too), I'm also referring to pampering your insides by eating healthy and exercising. Pampering your mind by reading books (NOT of the 50 shades variety). Pampering your spirit through prayer and meditation. Being aware of current events and what's going on in this world. It is important that your inner self compliments your fabulous outer appearance.

To be a well rounded woman that works on her being in every aspect, you will find confidence encompassing that woman. She will no longer have the desire to put forth the effort of sexiness for she is sexy and she knows it. In turn she will know how to utilize her sexy to push her agenda in all avenues.

So now that you have a better understanding, I would like you to look at the areas of your life lacking that sexy spark. Is it your physical health? Your mind? Hygiene? Physical appearance? Whatever it is, work on it, nurture it and use it to it's highest positive potential.

Love & Light Rising Roses

So I watched a clip of The Real Housewives of Atlanta on my timeline in where Kenya decides to throw Phaedra and Cynthia a party. It wasn't for a birthday, new baby, career promotion or anything that you would think is typically celebration worthy. This party was a Divorce party. Both of these ladies were going through a divorce with their husbands.

Now I have heard of a divorce party before. There are actually those who have elaborate divorce celebrations decorated with broken chains, broken hearts and cake toppers with the head cut off. But this is one celebration I have never understood. Divorce is an unfortunate occurrence in our society. It's when two people who publicly made the decision to become a unit, decide to permanantly separate for reasons of pain, hurt and betrayal usually.

I believe those who have a divorce party use this event as a way to publicly announce liberation from an unpleasant life with their former. An exhale of sorts. Preparing for life as a single person. Even still, the party will not change the process. It is just a temporary cover for their pain. The process of healing and moving forward in a new routine will still take time. There will still be moments of hurt even after the streamers hit the floor and the last slice of cake is served.

This legal action should not be something to celebrate no matter who was at fault, who hurt who or even if it was a mutually cordial decision. Those who experience divorce should instead reflect on how they can grow from it. How they can become better and improve in all aspects. How they can learn from their mistakes and make their next marriage (if they choose to marry again) a solid one.

Would you ever have a divorce party? If so why? Or for those who have had divorce parties, did it truly benefit you? Let me hear your thoughts!

Photo Cred: QREV Production

In the last 10 years social media has been on a take over. It is a chance for people to network, reconnect, have a platform and reinvent themselves. Some people have a total alter-ego on their pages. Makeup, weaves, contouring, waist trainers and more! Your page is a place where you can sprinkle glitter and make your life shine more than your reality. This has viewers hooked onto the fabulously seeming lives of the beautiful faces they follow. Though I am all for creativity and one using their page however they see fit (as long as they are not doing anything to harm others or themselves), I can't help but to notice the real life influence social media has using the unrealistic life of it's popular members.

For example... You're scrolling through your timeline and there she is, that celebrity you adore. She's so pretty, you love her personality, if you could look like her you would but since you can't you click the link of the current product she's promoting. You know the one she swears she's always used to help her look the way she does? Some tea that helps keep her tummy flat, weave that magically never tangles, or maybe a bracelet that she says she wears with every outfit. It doesn't really matter what it is. All that matters is her name is attached to it. So you buy it hoping it will bring you one step closer to being as fabulous as her. And you're excited to use it until... next month you see she promoting something new. Another "must have" in your mind. And the cycle continues.

How do I even know about this cycle? I used to be a mindless link clicker. Sometimes I'd buy whatever it is that pretty face is selling (confession, my weakness was Draya), other times I'd have a reality check and back away from my computer. Since I often question all my actions, one day I asked myself, does she even use that really? The business woman bulb suddenly went on and I realized more times than not the celebrities, Instagram stars, and YouTube pioneers promoting all kinds of products don't really use them. They are being paid to pretend or paid to use them for a certain contracted period by companies who know their followers will bite the bait every time without fail.

Most of the times these companies paying your favorite celeb a few thousand dollars are already well on their way to being a multi-million dollar company while you, the consumer, are pulling together all your coins to buy $45.00 flat tummy tea... TEA (side eye).

I say all of this to remind you to not set your standards via social media personalities or any standard media sets for that matter. Your value, your worth, your beauty is not determined by a product and products are not better quality because a pretty face's name is stamped on it for the moment. I am not telling you not to shop your favorite products or to stop following your favorite celebrity. I just want to make sure you are aware of the cycle you may be in so you can make conscious decisions moving forward without the influence of those you adore.

Now before I click that link I ponder on where my money is going and who I am supporting. Am I helping a small business or black owned business put food on the table for their family? Is a percentage from the proceeds of my purchase going to a worthy cause? Or am I giving a part of my check to a multi-millionaire that doesn't really need my coin? Questions you should ask yourself next time you're scrolling and see that brand new thing.