Gesphania

Photo Cred: QREV Production Earrings: Kadokele

"What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun." A bible reference my mother has reminded me of many times growing up. And so far this saying has been proven true time and time again. From fashion trends to hairdo's, society finds new ways to reinvent what's already been done and call it something different to intrigue the masses.

Recently I've noticed, braids have become popular. Not by the Africans that have worn them forever, but more so by the Caucasian population, particularly, white women have fallen in love with the braid. What's interesting is it's celebrities of European decent that have brought attention to the not so new trend. I read a a statement from a white hairstylist stating "The French Braid is all the Rage". I thought to myself, "French braid? Why do they even call it that?" The title of the French, Dutch or any Euro heading for the three strand hairstyle is perplexing to me considering there is nothing European about it at all.

Braids emerged quite some time ago in the northern part of Africa. The earliest evidence of the style is found in the Tassili n'Ajjer mountain range in Algeria. There, rock art depicting women wearing rowed braids dates back almost 6000 years, For those of you who need a visual of exactly where that is:



The reality is braids were made popular by black people. I remember as a child being bombarded with questions from the inquisitive minds of my white classmates as to why my hair was quote, "twisted up like that all the time" because the intricate styling of braids were foreign to their lifestyle during that period. So even at that age, I recognized that braids were a thing of afro-culture. With that being pretty obvious, why is any style of braid given a title anything other than African? 

My take, many things of African culture have been stolen or downplayed to take the light off of the fact that we have contributed a majority of innovations to this world as far as we can document. Concepts, principles, inventions, religion, fashion, style etc have been brought to fruition and pioneered by Africans. Due to a world where we were once of as thought of less than human, any positive contribution that we made was hidden. To title something as French, Dutch, or Euro was easier to accept by white society. 

I know some of you may say the name is not a big deal but the smallest change in our history alters the perception for future generations. It is crucial for our black boys and girls to be fully educated on who they are and the importance of their people's existence and contribution in every aspect.  

Now I have no issue with white people wearing braids. Beautiful things are meant to share. Just make sure next time you hear someone say, "I love your French braid", smile and politely say "Thank you it's actually an African braid. French braids don't exist." A small mental seed can go a long way.

I met her through him... And she's pretty awesome Photo Cred: QREV Production

Is the ex meant to be an automatic enemy? It sure seems that way when a relationship ends with one person and then begins with another. I see it all the time. Boy meets girl, a relationship forms, girl starts to learn of boy's past girlfriends, girl then marks each one on her hit list.

I am not exempt from this either. I have given side-eyes several times to different women during the course of my life. Not because they have posed a threat, but solely on the reason that there once was a bond. A bond that I now share exclusively and just the thought that this bond existed before me would fuel my fire.

As I mature, I make it a point to challenge myself in the norm that I feel shouldn't be normal. What I go through in a relationship or what she went through shouldn't be the cause of complete strangers holding anger towards one another. With that, I try to have the innocent until proven guilty mentality. I word it this way because there are cases where the ex does want your man still and may prove that she has had a hidden agenda all along. But what about the woman that really & truly wants nothing to do with your man in the romantic sense? Or the woman that has a child with your man but solely is interested in a platonic co-parenting relationship? Is it a possibility to be cordial with one another? Dare I say, friends even?

From personal experience I do think it's quite possible. I've formed friendships with a couple women that once held a title with someone I was dating.  At first, it was slightly uncomfortable I must admit during the initial interaction, but I kept in mind that before anything, we are all human beings and we all have feelings. We shouldn't hold contempt for someone for an experience they endured. An experience that is part of their past, not present.

I've also been on the other end as the ex and became friends with the new girlfriend. Both experiences were pretty positive and I am friends with these ladies till this day long after our mutual beau faded into history.

Now I'm not telling you ladies to run off into the sunset with all his exes, but when you see her, be cordial, be respectful. And if she has ulterior motives and is able to take your man, he wasn't yours to begin with.